evil-emailAs technology marches forward I believe more people like myself are beginning to revolt. Email is my hot button issue of late.  Here are 5 reasons why I hate Email.

People think its instant message.

For some reason people today believe that email is designed to be instant. The moment they hit the send button every one of the 8,000 recipients will receive their email immediately. This is NOT true.  Email takes time.  It has to be routed. It has to go through a litany of checks to verify it’s not spam.  Now in addition add in the fact that billybob@mydomainname.com might not even be a good address.

If you need an answer in less than 24 hours don’t use email. It’s still ok to pick up the phone and call people.  You know that grey device on your desk or that shiny thing in your pocket. Or heaven forbid get off that fat ass and go to someone’s office and talk.

Don’t even get me started on the email chains that suck the life out of me or the 5 pm email snipe and the sender needs a response ASAP.

Out of Office Replies

99.98% of the time I don’t give a rats ass that you are not in your office, however sometimes its good to know.  So don’t write a 400 word paragraph out of office response. Make the response brief.  For example: “I am out of the office from x to y and will NOT be responding to your email. “ Chris Brogan sums it up nicely with his post Your Out of Office Message Stinks.

Email Signatures

Email signatures are important but some people go way overboard.  I don’t need to read a quote you think is “neat”. I don’t want to read anything in the font ComicSans, nor do I want to see flashing gifs. I don’t care about where you went to school.

A good signature in my mind should include Name, job title, phone numbers both mobile and office, and your companies name.

And what I certainly don’t need is the lawyer jive talk that is included with so many emails today.  There must have been a lot of lawyers out of work before we had legalese email signatures. Thank God they are back to work writing this crap.  And according to the Chicago Tribune, these lawyers in a can might not be worth the bytes they take up.

Free advice…. if your email message is shorter than your legalese at the bottom, don’t bother to sending it to me.

Here are some bad email signature examples.  And here is a pretty comical blog post, How To Not Piss Off The World With Your Email Signature

CC’s from Hell

In today’s whiney offices workers seem to think that everyone and their dog needs to be included in every little email that leaves your inbox.  This is just plain rude and wastes a hell of a lot of time.  Everyone should just include the bare minimum of recipients. I get email all the time that I call WTF.  Why oh why did I get included in this?

More CCs Are Less Efficient
Who hasn’t experienced the hell of being CC’d on a work email along with 50 other people, all of whom want to add their two cents (and dumb jokes)? “It’s become a lot easier to rope in many more people into a project,” Freeman says. “There’s this idea, because of the network nature of Internet and email,

[that] everything has to be done collaboratively. That is grossly inefficient.”  from How to Avoid Email Hell — Increasing Productivity by Thinking Outside the Inbox

Amen brother….

Oh and if you are going to spam the companies email server please for the love of Pete use BCC.

Reading and Writing email from a phone.

I absolutely hate reading email on my phone.  The only thing that is worse is writing email from my phone.  Every time I write an email from my phone that is more than a two word answer I regret it.  It’s hard to type it’s hard to spell check and it usually just doesn’t flow. I understand that there are times when it is a necessary evil.  I still just hate to do it.