I want to become an Illegal Alien.

by eran on March 3, 2009 · 5 comments · Politics


in Politics

I received this in an email and I thought it provoked some thought about the state of our nation in regards to illegal immigration. I don’t know if it’s true or not.  

From one republican to another……

Becoming Illegal

(An actual letter from an Iowa resident and sent to his
senator)

The Honorable Tom Harkin
731 Hart Senate Office Building
Washington DC , 20510
Phone (202) 224 3254

Dear Senator Harkin,

As a native Iowan and excellent customer of the
Internal Revenue Service, I am writing to ask for your
assistance. I have contacted the Department of Homeland
Security in an effort to determine the process for becoming
an illegal alien and they referred me to you.

My primary reason for wishing to change my status
from U.S. Citizen to illegal alien stems from the bill
which was recently passed by the Senate and for which you
voted. If my understanding of this bill’s provisions is
accurate, as an illegal alien who has been in the United
States for five years, all I need to do to become a citizen
is to pay a $2,000 fine and income taxes for three of the
last five years. I know a good deal when I see one and I
am anxious to get the process started before everyone
figures it out.

Simply put, those of us who have been here legally have
had to pay taxes every year so I’m excited about the

prospect of avoiding two years of taxes in return for paying
a $2,000 fine. Is there any way that I can apply to be
illegal retroactively? This would yield an excellent result
for me and my family be cause we paid
heavy taxes in 2004 and 2005.

Additionally, as an illegal alien I could begin using
the local emergency room as my primary health care provider.
Once I have stopped paying premiums for medical insurance,
my accountant figures I could save almost $10,000 a year.

Another benefit in gaining illegal status is that my
daughter would receive preferential treatment relative to
her law school applications, as well as ‘in-state’
tuition rates for many colleges throughout the United States
for my son.

Lastly, I understand that illegal status would
relieve me the burden of renewing my driver’s license
and making those burdensome car insurance premiums. This is
very important to me given that I still have college age
children driving my car.

If you would provide me with an outline of the process
to become illegal (retroactively if possible) and copies
of the necessary forms, I would be most appreciative.

Thank you for your assistance.

Your Loyal Constituent,
Donald Ruppert
Burlington , IA

I am not an anti-immigration fanatic.  I understand the desire to come to my country and make a better life. I would just like people who are doing that to come and try to do it legally.  I don’t have unreal expectations of immigrants.

I believe Immigrants should follow a few simple rules. 

  1. Follow the Law of my country
  2.  Try your best to assimilate.  Learn the language, customs etc.  I am not saying forget your heritage but you belong to a different group.  
  3. Build our nation up don’t tear it down.

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  • Melissa

    Wow, way to touch a nerve. You are right on the money with this one (pun intended). We live in AZ and my husband and father-in-law run a small construction company. Immigration, particularly the illegal kind, is a daily issue for us.

    I agree with you. I am not against all immigration. I am against those who do so illegally and then take our jobs, our money, and our resources. I am also opposed to those immigrants, legal or otherwise, who REFUSE to at least learn our language and basic culture.

    No other country in the world would be as forgiving were I to move somewhere else but cling to my American language and culture. Yes, this land is a melting pot. But, damn it, if you’re going to come here, you should be expected to melt into the mix.

  • earth.citizen

    I don’t buy the argument that illegal immigrants are “stealing” our jobs.
    I live in south Miami-Dade county where landscaping and agriculture are huge parts of our economy. This work is incredibly hard and pays very little. I don’t see American high school drop-outs lining up to do this work.
    The issue makes my blood boil but let’s be fair here. Many of them simply do jobs that the lowest of the low in this country simply won’t do.

  • eran

    earth.citizen

    I agree… I worked for a hotel and not one white person worked in housekeeping or landscaping in the 4 years I worked there. In fact the hr department would travel to Guatemala to find housekeepers for jobs that paid $15 an hour in a large college town. No white kid alive would do it.

  • Melissa

    I agree that there are jobs that immigrants will do that it seems others will not. But I also know my fair share of good, honest guys who are out of work here right now and looking for ANYTHING to support their families. And my father-in-law’s stucco business is struggling to survive because they do things the right way (licensed, bonded, insured, pay taxes, keep proper books, etc.) and are constantly being underbid by Mexican crews who cut corners, steal material from job sites, have no paperwork whatsoever, take only cash, and are mainly made up of guys who can’t work for legitimate companies because they are illegal and their papers are bad and when companies (like ours) run their SS# (as required by law at the time of hire) they don’t match up and can’t be hired legally. So yes, they do work that others “won’t”. But yes, they also take work away from honest, law abiding, legal citizens.

    And no, I am not a racist. I just happen to think there is something very wrong with ILLEGAL immigrants who take advantage of the system.

  • Ariane

    Funny! Man, it is sadly true. That was a creative letter.

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