Making a Mockery

Wednesday, July 20, 2005

Lowest Spending Per Pupil has It's Benefits...
The main Utah County Newspaper the Daily Herald often provides some of the funniest letters to the editor on the planet. The Weekly World News has nothing on The Daily Herald. Here are some recent letters to the editor. Its easy to figure out why people here have such a hard time merging on the freeway with worries like these on their minds.

Married people have no right attending LDS singles events
The Daily Herald

I am concerned about the singles activities that the LDS Church sponsors here in Utah and Utah Valley like dances and firesides.

The church states divorces must be final, but it also should state that the activities are for singles only. Week after week I see lots of married couples coming to our single activities, dances and firesides. Why? The LDS Church has given these activities to help us have fun, find friends and find our eternal mates. Why do married couples come?

The LDS Church leaders tell us to date and find our eternal mates. Please, married couples, be courteous and not come to LDS single activities. We desire to be with our own and find happiness and find our eternal mates, as you did.

Please stay away.
Scott Carter,

This story appeared in The Daily Herald on page A5. Linky

Response Letters I would like to see…

Dear Scott,
Lighten Up… and Read D&C 122 5-8
5 If thou art called to pass through tribulation•; if thou art in perils among false brethren; if thou art in perils• among robbers; if thou art in perils by land or by sea;

6 If thou art accused• with all manner of false accusations; if thine enemies fall upon thee; if they tear thee from the society of thy father and mother and brethren and sisters; and if with a drawn sword thine enemies tear thee from the bosom of thy wife, and of thine offspring, and thine elder son, although but six years of age, shall cling to thy garments, and shall say, My father, my father, why can’t you stay with us? O, my father, what are the men going to do with you? and if then he shall be thrust from thee by the sword, and thou be dragged to prison•, and thine enemies prowl around thee like wolves• for the blood of the lamb;

7 And if thou shouldst be cast into the pit•, or into the hands of murderers, and the sentence of death passed upon thee; if thou be cast into the deep•; if the billowing surge conspire against thee; if fierce winds become thine enemy; if the heavens gather blackness, and all the elements combine to hedge• up the way; and above all, if the very jaws of hell• shall gape open the mouth wide after thee, know thou, my son, that all these things shall give thee experience•, and shall be for thy good.

8 The Son of Man hath descended• below them all. Art thou greater than he?

Suck it up…
Gordon B Hinckley

Onto the Next Nut Job Please....

NASA's space shuttle woes show moon shots impossible
The Daily Herald

As NASA continues to have problems even getting the space shuttle into outer space, Americans continue to accept the myth that we sent six -- I repeat six -- consecutive multi-stage rockets to the moon, carrying five moon cars, successfully and without mishap.

It is no mystery why George W. Bush was elected to a second term. Lincoln's words about "fooling some of the people all of the time" fail to apply if that part of the people is a simple majority.

Grant N. Mildenhall,

American Fork

This story appeared in The Daily Herald on page A4. Linky

Another Dream Response…

Dear Grant,

Men with white coats are coming to pick you up. Don’t panic just go with them to the Utah State Mental Hospital.

With Love
Neil Armstrong

PS The moon was fun. Did you get my pictures? Wish you were here.

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Friday, July 01, 2005

“In most cases, a flat fee can be assessed to assure the client of maximum charges for attorney services.” just click Our Fees on the left menu.

I recently read this on a Law Firms Website. I am glad that they have learned to maximize the price for their services. This just struck me as funny. If only it were that easy.

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