Making a Mockery

Friday, June 30, 2006

Internet Everywhere but Not Enough Time to Surf

Here are some links I have been gathering to share.

Where the hell was this when I was in high school? It’s the rubic’s cube robotic solver.

What do you do after you watch Tokyo Drift, but can't afford a car?

I am sending out a SOS a kitty in a bottle

Is there any Truth in Advertising? Think again!! You can easily Photoshop yourself into better skin.

Buzz Aldrin maybe a Seventy something year old former moon walking pioneer but he can still kick your @$$ if you call him a liar and a cheat.

AOL might just be a virus you cannot end… The video made me laugh after a recent incident with Comcast and another incident with Salt Lake County Human Resources Department. (This will make my blog soon, I promise.)

Have you seen the new snob card from AMEX. The businesses I visit struggle just swiping my debit card can you imagine putting that on the counter at Home Depot.

VW’s Dresden Germany Phaeton Assembly Plant… Was it inspired by Ikea?

This made me laugh… Tent camping in Manhattan.

It turns out I have fewer close friends. I thought it was just that I was a jerk because I don’t return calls.

The Knitting Corner
Hyperbolic space is an unimaginable concept, unless you're a Latvian mathematician who's handy with needle and yarn. Maybe I just haven’t given enough importance to knitting in the world. I guess I just thought it was a hobby for grandmothers. I guess I could be wrong.

It turns out Conservative bloggers know how to bring home the bacon. Gee I am only making about $300 a year on this bad boy.

Tired of only making swan origami? Try making an origami Yoda.

Need a time killer at work? Try Wkimapia it’s a Google maps meets wikipedia

So how close does a 4 mega ton Thermo Nuclear device need to explode to vaporize me and my house? Find out here

The PostSecret project is interesting.

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Monday, June 26, 2006

Satan Turns His Wrath From Super Dell to John Jacobs

As much as I hate Chris Cannon… his only opponent John Jacob is an even bigger idiot. In Friday’s newspaper Jacob is quoted saying, “There’s another force that wants to keep us from going to Washington, D.C. It’s the devil is what it is.” Salt Lake Tribune

When asked if he actually believed that "something else" was indeed Satan, Jacob said: "I don't know who else it would be if it wasn't him. Now when that gets out in the paper, I'm going to be one of the screw-loose people."

Well I guess if you are going to go down in a flame of glory it might as well be as a complete and total nut job. Enid Green anyone? I do have a question for John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt…. How do you know its Satan and not God protecting his children from you? Hitler and the Third Reich also thought God was on their side. It just seems a bit presumptuous. Who the hell do you think you are? I am not alone on this read some of the Trib Feedback My favorite of course being this one.

“by Scot M. (#44122) @ 10:43am - Fri Jun 23rd, 2006We know where Dell Schanze is working now....Political advisor to John Jacob. Next he will say that the media are the devils and ruining his polical (sic)career.” listed about 30 blogs mentioning Jacobs Satanic Opponent in their blog watch…

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Monday, June 19, 2006

I must have a Ferrari!

I am beginning to believe that knitting is actually a symptom of an even larger disease but I am just uncertain as to what the disease might be. I guess for the lack of a better description it would be Compulsive Nutcaseitis… This knitter spent ten months making the full-size Ferrari replica using 12 MILES of yarn. What the hell?

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Thursday, June 15, 2006

Sunday Bloody Sunday

George W... gives Bono a run for his money by singing Sunday Bloody Sunday

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Monday, June 12, 2006

Idiot of the Day

Ben Roethlisberger… Big Ben recently led the Pittsburg Steelers to a Super Bowl Championship and today he had a serious motorcycle wreck. I don’t think this would be blog worthy other than a few notable facts:

Here is a gifted quarterback who I am sure has a big dollar contract that most likely contains clauses like no risky behavior like motorcycle riding. Didn’t we learn from Kellen Winslow Jr last year? It’s nice not to protect yourself, and not protect your team. I am sure your teammates will love starting the season with your backup QB because you were too dumb to where a helmet.

Stupid quotes like this: "He talked about being a risk-taker and I'm not really a risk-taker. I'm pretty conservative and laid back, but the big thing is to just be careful," Roethlisberger said at the time. "I'll just continue to be careful. I told him we don't ever ride alone, we always ride in a group of people, and I think it makes it even more safe."

"In May 2005, Steelers Coach Bill Cowher warned Ben about safe riding after Cleveland tight end Kellen Winslow Jr. was injured in a motorcycle accident. Winslow tore knee ligaments and was lost for the season.

Roethlisberger has said in the past that he prefers not to ride with a helmet on. He has pointed out Pennsylvania's state law requiring helmets to be worn was repealed in September 2003. " I guess this makes it all ok.

My favorite part is the fact that Roethlisberger continued to ride after Winslow's accident and that angered Terry Bradshaw, who quarterbacked the Steelers to four Super Bowl victories during the 1970s.

Visiting the Steelers' training camp last summer, Bradshaw remarked: "Ride it when you retire."

Its good to know that the “I am not a role model” mentality is alive and well in professional sports.

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Your Own Personal Jesus Might Just Of Have Had a Kid

The Da Vinci Code has become quite the rage... My wife and I saw it a week or so ago. It was very entertaining to say the least and of course it stoked my curiosity. History is something I really enjoy especially when it doesn’t revolve around school.

I recently stumbled upon a page that finds errors in the book/film.The article is entitled: How The Da Vinci Code Doesn't Work

One of the articles first errors that even a village idiot like me could figure out was the GPS unit tracking Robert Langdon. It seemed too small to really work (it looked like a watch battery) and besides it’s a simple fact: GPS doesn’t work indoors. (You can’t see the satellites while indoors.) However the Rosslyn Chapel does really exit… I thought it might be an interesting place to visit someday.

It is interesting to poke holes in to Television and movies. I do it all the time with my parents and their seemingly intense love of cheesy murder mystery shows. CSI drives me insane with inaccuracies in technology and even basic police work. Don’t even get me started with that damn Angela Landsbury Murder She Wrote Crap. That show is like Heroin for my parents. They have been hooked since the 80’s. Even Betty Ford hasn’t been able to free them from their addiction. Working for 911 hasn’t made it any easier to watch this crap. Sad television addictions is a blog topic for another day.

Back to Da Vinci and his little “secret”. So it seems that the big secret is Jesus was married to Mary Magdalene and they allegedly had children and gasp there are living descendents of Jesus living around the world. According to the book/movie this means that Jesus was not divine but merely a good man. This is the secret that the Catholic Church keeps. My question is so how does this remove his divinity? Marriage makes it so one is not divine? Oh Boy will my mother in law be relieved that I am not a God. How does having a child make you not a God? Aren’t we all God’s children? The Catholic Church outlawed marriage of its clergy at Second Lateran Council in 1139 under Pope Gregory VII. It was widely believed that marriage in the church hierarchy would destroy the dwindling wealth of the church by dividing its holdings through heirs and claims against the church. (see Canon 5) I guess I don’t understand how marriage and children has any affects on the divinity of God. Either you are divine or you aren’t.

I guess people are just looking for reasons not to believe in God.

Here is a quote sent to me recently via email. While I cannot verify its validity, it is an interesting comedic commentary on the state of America.

“With hurricanes, tornados, fires out of control, mud slides,
flooding, severe thunderstorms tearing up the country from one
end to another, and with the threat of bird flu and terrorist

Are we sure this is a good time to take God out of the Pledge
of Allegiance?”

~Jay Leno~

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