Making a Mockery

Friday, August 25, 2006

What is Art?

Last night I caught portion of the Julia Roberts’s film “Mona Lisa Smiles”. In the movie there is a scene where a college class discusses what art is? This is the eternal argument. What is art and what isn’t? The college professor shows photos of art; a modern piece that was dark and grotesque, another was museum style classic, another was 5th grade art and another was a photo.The photo was argued to be only a snap shot but the teacher interjects what if it taken by Ansel Adams is it still only a snapshot?Being married to an artist with a long artist heritage it was an interesting discussion and one I have spent some time thinking about.I don’t have any strong revelation to this argument other than the classic response of I know art when I see it.

Any way I was still thinking about this topic today when I stumble across this site… Dirty Car Art. So is a smiley face with wash me on the back of dirty car art? Or is Dirty Car really Art?

On a related car link how about practicing your parking online?

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Thursday, August 24, 2006

Trouble Selling Your Abode? Try St. Joseph Home Selling Kit

This morning I was watching the NBC’s “Today Show” waiting for the local traffic report since I had seen a brief clip of an accident somewhere in my commute. The next thing I see baffles me and I am left well speechless. The show was featuring people who have used the St. Joseph Home Selling Kit to sell their homes faster.

They spoke to some nutcase (the only descriptor that comes to mind) about how she purchased one and she buried it upside down with the face facing the house to sell. She claims it quickened the sale and boosted her sale price. Buy Your ST. Joseph’ Here

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Tuesday, August 22, 2006

KFed or Vanilla Ice?

Is anyone else sick of KFed? I sure am… I should never see his face on the news other than MTVNews or other news shows with no real credentials. I guess I do understand the mentality of showing this wreck on primetime. It’s a disaster that America and the world just can’t take their eyes off of. It’s the real life story of "Joe Dirt" only I am sure there is no happy ending.

My gut instinct tells me that white trash poster boy Kevin Federline will have a career similar to Vanilla Ice and will implode like a black hole in as he is pushed into the seventh ring of Hell or at least I sure fantasize that’s where he will go. I am sick to death of him already. Kfeds 15 minutes sure seems like an eternity.

Sure KFed has more money more power and more resources than any other possible up and comer but its only due to his trailer queen Britney Spears bankrolling his exotic lifestyle. How else could he land the Teen Choice Awards? I am sure it went something like this… Britney calls in and says “I will appear on the show if my hubby can perform his new song.”

Sooner or later Federline will be toast as Mrs. Spears gets KFedUp and he is kicked or wheeled to the curbside trash bin like last months Cosmo. Mr. Spears lacks all essential qualities of staying power…Talent, taste, skills, brains or even just management and he will fail to be a continued success. Just view his performance on the TCA’s. If you don’t believe me, try turning off the volume and start singing Ice Ice Baby to his performance and watch the 15 minutes count down on an egg timer. The Ice Ice Baby Lyrics are below…

His music is horrible even by rap or hip hop standards. His lyrics baffle me as he complains about the oppression of being the worlds worst house guest. I am confused by the whole thing. First off what the hell is he trying to say? I am oppressed white guy who married well? I was lucky to find a translation to “Lose It” (Does Eminem Know Your Ripped him Off?) that helps here. Is he concerned that Mrs Spears is going to say "bye bye bye" or what? Gotta make my own dough...

Lucky for all of us KFed’s days are almost up… Ding Ding Ding… There is the egg timer telling us Kfed is all done.

And for the record...
I think Vanilla Ice had talent but the world for some reason turned against him. He didn't get the hand out he busted it to become successful and then people love to see people crash and burn and will stop at nothing to bring down success.

Vanilla Ice "Ice Ice Baby" Lyrics

Ice Ice Baby, Ice Ice Baby
All right stop, Collaborate and listen
Ice is back with my brand new invention
Something grabs a hold of me tightly
Then I flow like a harpoon daily and nightly
Will it ever stop? Yo - I don't know
Turn off the lights and I'll glow
To the extreme I rock a mic like a vandal
Light up a stage and wax a chump like a candle.

Dance, Bum rush the speaker that booms
I'm killing your brain like a poisonous mushroom
Deadly, when I play a dope melody
Anything less than the best is a felony
Love it or leave it, You better gain way
You better hit bull's eye, The kid don't play
If there was a problem, Yo, I'll solve it
Check out the hook while my DJ revolves it

Ice Ice Baby Vanilla, Ice Ice Baby Vanilla
Ice Ice Baby Vanilla, Ice Ice Baby Vanilla

Now that the party is jumping
With the bass kicked in, the Vegas are pumpin'
Quick to the point, to the point no faking
I'm cooking MCs like a pound of bacon
Burning them if they're not quick and nimble
I go crazy when I hear a cymbal
And a hi hat with a souped up tempo
I'm on a roll and it's time to go solo
Rollin' in my 5. 0
With my ragtop down so my hair can blow
The girlies on standby, Waving just to say Hi
Did you stop? No - I just drove by
Kept on pursuing to the next stop
I busted a left and I'm heading to the next block
That block was dead

Yo - so I continued to A1A Beachfront Ave.
Girls were hot wearing less than bikinis
Rockman lovers driving Lamborghinis
Jealous 'cause I'm out geting mine
Shay with a gauge and Vanilla with a nine
Reading for the chumps on the wall
The chumps acting ill because they're so full of "Eight Ball"
Gunshots ranged out like a bell
I grabbed my nine - All I heard were shells
Falling on the concrete real fast
Jumped in my car, slammed on the gas
Bumper to bumper the avenue's packed
I'm trying to get away before the jackers jack
Police on the scene, You know what I mean
They passed me up, confronted all the dope fiends
If there was a problem, You, I'll solve it
Check out the hook while my DJ revolves it

Ice Ice Baby Vanilla, Ice Ice Baby Vanilla
Ice Ice Baby Vanilla, Ice Ice Baby Vanilla

Take heed, 'cause I'm a lyrical poet
Miami's on the scene just in case you didn't know it
My town, that created all the bass sound
Enough to shake and kick holes in the ground
'Cause my style's like a chemical spill
Feasible rhymes that you can vision and feel
Conducted and formed, This is a hell of a concept
We make it hype and you want to step with this
Shay plays on the fade, slice like a ninja
Cut like a razor blade so fast, Other DJs say, "damn"
If my rhyme was a drug, I'd sell it by the gram
Keep my composure when it's time to get loose
Magnetized by the mic while I kick my juice
If there was a problem, Yo - I'll solve it!
Check out the hook while Djay revolves it.

Ice Ice Baby Vanilla, Ice Ice Baby Vanilla
Ice Ice Baby Vanilla, Ice Ice Baby Vanilla

Yo man - Let's get out of here! Word to your mother!

Ice Ice Baby Too cold, Ice Ice Baby Too cold Too cold
Ice Ice Baby Too cold Too cold, Ice Ice Baby Too cold Too cold

Ice Ice Baby KFed Must Go…

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Monday, August 21, 2006

Stupid is as Stupid Does!!! Bryant Gumbel

And the career dissipation light illuminates again for Bryant “I hate everyone” Gumbel as he opens his mouth and spits out this gem about the new incoming NFL commissioner Roger Goodell.

"Before he cleans out his office have Paul Tagliabue show you where he keeps Gene Upshaw's leash. By making the docile head of the players union his personal pet, your predecessor has kept the peace without giving players the kind of guarantees other pros take for granted. Try to make sure no one competent ever replaces Upshaw on your watch." Fox Sports

It wouldn’t be noteworthy for such a pampas blow hard if it wasn’t for the fact that Bryant Gumbel was booked to do 8 late season games for the NFL networks on Thursdays and Saturdays. Oooops… I hope he didn’t quit his HBO gig.

Does Gumbel not realize why he no longer does the NBC Today Show or NBC PreGame Shows for Football any more? He did follow this gem with another profound statement of honesty… saying he when was hired that no restrictions had been put on his ability to comment on what he sees on the field.

"It's a lot like covering any story," he said. "You see what is front of you and you report on it."

That boy is a genius… I am constantly amazed by people bad mouthing the hands that feed them and then try to claim that their job is protected by the First Amendment… My pappy once said something to the effect of “Don’t Crap where you Eat!”

Wise words indeed.

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Thursday, August 17, 2006

Cactus or the Finger?

You be the judge of this…

Riverton man has been harassed by his neighbors about his new house. In his response a vent a design, a message or a misunderstanding. What ever it is he created on the side of the his home…

Is it a cactus as it has been explained or is it the finger?

Salt Lake Tribune Article: Is it art or the one-finger salute?

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Friday, August 11, 2006

So what ever happened to Super Dell?

If you aren’t familiar with the story start here.

Well it turns out that he was finally sentenced for making false statements to the police. Dell got no jail time but a $552 fine and a chance to attend a course that teaches people to “make appropriate decisions”. Ooops a little late.

What I find amusing was his quotes on the news… KSL’s Report

Dell Schanze: "If I had not had a firearm, the odds are very likely that a physical confrontation would have happened. There would have been a fight, they would have attacked me, and since I am a black belt, I probably would have had to kill two of them with my bare hands; but instead I had a gun, so no harm happened."

So let me get this straight a black belt is more dangerous than a gun?

“Super” Dell Schanze is still in denial and insists that his bad fortunes, including the demise of Totally Awesome Computers, are the result of what he calls the "evil lies of the news media."

Dell Schanze: "If I was a really bad guy do you think any of these news reporters would still be alive? Ask yourself that question. You know you all have the ability to repent because of the grace of God, but you are still alive to do it, because of the grace of Super Dell."

So its by the Grace of Super Dell that man and reporters are saved… Is this in the King James Version of the gospels of Super Dell?

The judge made it pretty clear to Schanze that he needs to stay out of trouble with the law for the next year, or he could face some jail time. Schanze told the judge, that wouldn't be a problem.

So how long will it be before we see Super Dell again? Stay Tuned!

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Friday, August 04, 2006

Mike Leavit's Version of The Beach Boys Wouldn't It Be Nice

Here is former Utah Governer's version of the Beach Boys classic "Wouldn't It Be Nice"

Wouldn’t It Be Nice If we had a Charity.
Then we wouldn’t have to pay so much in taxes.
And wouldn’t it be nice if we could recycle the money.
In the kind of world where the wealthy belong…

You know its gonna make it that much better
When we can keep our wealth and avoid taxes all together

Wouldn’t it be nice if no one cared
In the day our taxes are lowered
After reclaiming all our wealth together
And keep are money the whole year through

Happy time together we’ve been hiding
I wish this tax loop was never ending.
Wouldn’t it be Nice?

Maybe if we think and wish and hope and pray it might come true
Baby then there wouldn’t be a single thing the government could do
We could be richer
And then we’d be happy

Wouldn’t it be nice

The Beach Boys Original Lyrics are Here

For those who don't know Mike Leavit's family has a charity. It offers scholarships towards housing at Southern Utah University however they also own Apartment complexes that collect the scholarship money. Nice Laundering. Salt Lake Tribune:

Maybe Mike will be singing another song like Go to Hell by Ryan Shupe and the Rubberband. "Hope you look good in horns and a tail cause you're all gonna go to hell". Listen to a clip here

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Thursday, August 03, 2006

Richard Lossee Kisses Away $1.3 million for Charity

What to donate to charity when you are rich? Its all so tough sometimes. What about a sweet Ferrari? Well some of you may remember my posting of a Ferrari Enzo crash in LA... “It's Fast, Exclusive, Expensive and Now Totaled” I wrote about the Utah entrepreneur Richard Losee’s Ferrari Enzo which is a car that is fairly posh. In fact I have seeen this particular Ferrari in person. In an event to raise money for charity Losee wrote off his Ferrari in an amazing crash.

According to the Salt Lake Tribune, “ The road rally, organized by Larry Miller's Miller Motorsports Park for the Honoring Heroes Foundation, raises money to help families of UHP troopers killed or injured in the line of duty. UHP clocks the drivers' speeds and gives them "speeding tickets," the "fines" from which go to charity. Drivers also fork over $5,000 to participate.”

Hey Mr. Losee if you want to donate that kind of money to charity how about helping me pay off of some student loans? My student loans are a hell of a lot cheaper. And again I am forced to ask what do you say when you put a “dent” in a $1,3000,000 car?

Here are some more information and photos of Richard Losee's sweet Ferrari Enzo. What I love most about Mr. Losee is that he drives his cars. Any one who has put over 20k miles on his car is alright by me. I love any car enthusiast who isn't a trailer queen. Read his article in Road and Track

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