Making a Mockery

Thursday, April 27, 2006

Nancy Reagan Told Me to "Just Say No"


Or More Mormon Related...

According to the National Soft Drink Association, the following is the caffeine content in mgs per 12 oz can of soda:

Afri-Cola 100.0
Jolt 71.2
Sugar-Free Mr. Pibb 58.8
Mountain Dew (no caffeine in Canada) 55.0
Diet Mountain Dew 55.0
Kick citrus 54
Mello Yellow 52.8
Surge 51.0
Tab 46.8
Battery energy drink 140mg/l = 46.7mg/can
Coca-Cola 45.6
Diet Cola 45.6
Shasta Cola 44.4
Shasta Cherry Cola 44.4
Shasta Diet Cola 44.4
Mr. Pibb 40.8
OK Soda 40.5
Dr. Pepper 39.6
Pepsi Cola 37.2
Aspen 36.0
Diet Pepsi 35.4
RC Cola 36.0
Diet RC 36.0
Diet Rite 36.0
Canada Dry Cola 30.0
Canada Dry Diet Cola 1.2
7Up 0

Other Caffine
Cupp of coffee 90-150mg
Instant coffee 60-80mg
Tea 30-70mg
Chocolate bar 30mg
Vivarin 200mg
Cold relief tablet 30mg

Ameritech Labs, College Pt, NY; tested Sep 03, 96

Coffee and Caffeine's Frequently Asked Questions

Here comes the Mormon revolution...

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Monday, April 24, 2006

Who the Hell is Going to HELL!!!

In the Gospel according to St. Matthew in chapter 21 verses 12 and 13 it reads: “And Jesus went into the temple of God, and cast out all them that sold and bought in the temple, and overthrew the tables of the moneychangers, and the seats of them that sold doves, And said unto them, It is written, My house shall be called the house of prayer; but ye have made it a den of thieves.” This scripture comes to mind when I think of Mormons I expect to see in Hell; I may or may not make it if my wife has her way. What it really comes down to is this simple fact; I hate (Yes I Hate: another vote for my eternal damnation) people who use The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints as a vehicle for gathering wealth. Its bad enough that there are literally millions of people, companies and organizations trying to lure my few rare possessions away from me but to have other “good members” trying to stick it to me is too much. I have officially boycotted their businesses and products.

Here is my list of Mormon’s I expect to see in Hell

Stephen Covey

This man in my ultra-judgmental Mormon mentality is probably the direct spawn of Satan. Seven Habits of Highly Stolen Gospel Teachings pushed me over the edge. Repackaging of the gospel for profit is this man’s mastery. Maybe I am just pissed I didn’t think of this. At any rate I won’t purchase his wares.

Kenneth Cope, Lex De Azevedo, Janice Kapp Perry and Any one else who created EFY music.

The authors of such Mormon Ear Candy classics as “Win the race”, “Like a Lighthouse” and “What Love Is” should be punished for creating this “mission music” to rot my brain. Maybe this is backlash from my mission or maybe the revenge of EFY cassette tapes that were in my music collection that I never ever listened to after my summer EFY trips. I should probably throw Kurt Bestor into this group also despite his “membership status” problem. This is especially true of those Damn Embryo Music Samplers that spread through out my mission like herion.

Richard Dutcher

Only because the faithful in Utah County think he should go to hell. I am still traumatized by "God's Army" God don't think stuffs funny... laughter was the invention of Satan...

Deseret Book

It just makes sense… The purveyors of the “mormon handicraft”. This is the network by which the money changers operate.

Orin Hatch

For almost 30 years, Orrin G. Hatch has been an influential representative of Mormon-dominated Utah. Yet he has accepted campaign contributions from wealthy sinners in the alcohol, tobacco and gambling industries -- a fact that may surprise some residents. These have not been token contributions. We're talking serious money, enough to put Hatch among the top recipients from these industries. In 2000, Hatch received $20,500 from the tobacco industry, putting him in eighth place in the U.S. Senate that year. This year, he received $17,000, putting him in fifth place (but, of course, the year is young).Representatives of the beer, wine and liquor industries gave Hatch $34,600 in 2000 and $26,000 this year, putting him in 10th and fifth places respectively.The gambling industry contributed $19,182 in 2000, putting Hatch in sixth place in the Senate for gaming dollars. (Salt Lake Tribune 4-21-05)

Utah State Legislators

These jokers seem to waste time on by creating some of the strangest legislation on the planet. Here are some of my favorites. Much of this year’s weird and wacky hit two major themes… Bigger government with more taxes and even more spending or force Christian values upon the populace. I believe strongly in Christian values but I believe more importantly in a person’s right to chose although abortion is still murder.

A bill that Required Divine design education. Chris Buttars kills me with his legislation. Leave religion at home and allow science to be taught. This is where the parent part of children come into play. Parents teach children about God not Utah schools. Notice I didn’t say that it cannot be discussed but shouldn’t be taught. God is still a vital part of America despite what atheists and existentialists say.

HB 223 A bill that would deny drivers licenses to illegal aliens but giving them a special driver privilege card. So let me get this straight no drivers licenses just driver privilege cards? I mean an illegal alien needs to still drive… How about insurance for said illegal?

HB 131 Provides that knowingly approaching within eight feet of a person for the purpose of passing out literature, displaying an object, or engaging in protest or counseling without the other person's consent is a class B misdemeanor if the person is within 100 feet of an entrance door to a health care facility or place of worship. Didn’t Hitler ban protesting? Doesn’t the Lord’s University (BYU) ban Protests?

Another Bill boosted state sponsored abortion by clarifying and adding more money for the use of equipment, doctors and nurses where state funds are used.
Read More

Dave Checketts

Real Salt Lake’s Owner wants Utah government to pay $50 million for his stadium because he is too broke to pay for it. Checketts did just happen to have $60 million around to by the NHL St. Louis Blues.

These of course are just my harsh Utah County judgmental opinions. I could very well indeed also be going to hell inspite of the work of my wife.

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Tuesday, April 18, 2006

Barry Bonds: It’s a Love Hate Thing

In the world of Major League Baseball there are two types of people, those who like Barry Bonds and those who don’t. In the next few weeks of a very fresh 2006 Major League Baseball season; Barry Bonds will pass the great Babe Ruth’s career homerun record and will become the second greatest homerun hitter behind Hank Aaron. Based solely on Barry Bonds’ accomplishments in baseball he is undoubtedly a shoe in for Baseball’s Hall of Fame in Cooperstown, New York. There is no doubt in anyone’s mind that Barry Bonds is a great baseball player; however there is a dark cloud that hangs over Bonds’ career. Bonds’ career is tainted with allegations of cheating through the use of steroids.

From early age Barry knew his future was baseball. His father, Bobby Bonds was a Major League Baseball MVP and 3-time all-star. His godfather is none other than Baseball Hall-of-Famer Willie Mays. Barry Bonds was destined for greatness.

The Barry Bonds ethical dilemma begins sometime in 1998. According to a recently released book “Game of Shadows” by San Francisco Chronicle reporters Mark Fainaru-Wada and Lance Williams, alleges that Barry Bonds started using a wide variety of steroids, human growth hormones and other drugs following the 1998 baseball season. The two authors depict Bonds as being angry and envious of Mark Maquire whom he recognized as “a juicer.” Before this most recent book other allegations have circled the world of baseball. Does anyone really believe that Bonds was the only person to use steroids?

In December of 2003, Bonds was forced to appear before a grand jury involving the Federal Government’s investigation of Bay Area Laboratory Co-operative (BALCO), a sports nutritional supplement company. Barry Bonds told a federal grand jury that he used a clear substance and a cream supplied by BALCO now entangled in a sports doping scandal, but he said he never thought they were steroids. BALCO is accused of distributing undetectable steroids to elite athletes in the form of a clear substance that was taken orally and a cream that was rubbed onto the body. Greg Anderson childhood friend and personal trainer for Bonds is thought to be the middleman and the one who introduced Bonds to the world of steroids. According to court records documents seized from Anderson’s home show that Bonds was using band drugs. Bonds said he was confident that his trainer hadn't slipped him banned drugs without his knowledge, saying Anderson "wouldn't jeopardize our friendship" by doing that.

Bonds said that as far as he knew, Anderson had given him only legal products to treat the arthritis and fatigue that afflicted him, especially when playing a day game after a night game. The trainer brought the products into the Giants' clubhouse at Pac Bell Park "once a homestand," Bonds said, and that's where he used them.

"I never asked Greg" about what the products contained, Bonds testified. "When he said it was flaxseed oil, I just said, 'Whatever.'

"It was in the ballpark ... in front of everybody. I mean, all the reporters, my teammates. I mean, they all saw it. I didn't hide it." .

The ethical dilemma is the fact that steroids have invaded the game of baseball and that there are several problems associated with steroid use that arise. One issue is that steroids are illegal in the United States however until recently were not banned in baseball. There are many questions: Did steroids help Bonds? Are people who use steroids to gain an advantage in baseball criminals or are they merely athletes who are taking their skills to the next level? If steroid taking athletes are criminals should they be punished? How should they be punished? If they are only athletes bending the rules should there be consequences or adjustments to accomplishments? Is steroid use acceptable before the ban?

The first dilemma with baseball is the law. There are those who believe that a law is a law and should never ever be broken. This logic tends to want to remove Bonds and others from baseball and its history. How does anyone make the distinction between users and non-users? Others think that there is a gray area. These fans tend to forgive players for breaking the law because Major League Baseball didn’t have rules and policies forbidding performance-enhancing drugs. Never mind the fact that US law prohibits steroid use and distribution outside the medical sciences. While others think that the law aspect of this argument is a mute point. Baseball has a very poor record when dealing with lawbreakers. Professional Baseball has ignored most players past and present who have been charged with various crimes. The only exception has been gambling. Gambling illegal or legal has been the only exception to the rule. Major League Baseball has been swift with justice involving gambling as is evident with Pete Rose and “Shoeless” Joe Jackson and the “Chicago Blacksox”.

Pete Rose had a hall of fame career but was banned from baseball after allegations of illegal gambling arose while he was manager for the Cincinnati Reds. Rose later admitted to betting on baseball and his ban is still in effect. “Shoeless” Joe Jackson and 8 other Chicago Whitesox were accused of being bribed to lose the 1919 World Series. Although all were acquitted of all charges they were all banned from baseball.

Baseball is a very analyzed game. Players, coaches and fans study the statistical record of baseball more closely than any other sport. Major League Baseball has kept meticulous stats since the late 1800’s. By using steroids it is believed that baseballs statistical record has been tainted. The argument these fans make is that no longer can one compare players and certainly not players from different eras. A modern day player using steroids compared to Babe Ruth may not be an accurate comparison. Steroids has taken a level playing field and changed the landscape drastically and in ways that affect the statistical record. The other side of the argument argues that what Barry Bonds did on the field he did and cannot be erased even if he did take steroids. Their point being that although he may or may not of cheated he did hit 708 homeruns, a feat many other known steroid using baseball players have failed to even come close to doing. The argument being it takes more than just brute strength to hit homeruns in Major League Baseball.

It is hard to tell if steroids boosted Bonds performance. Statistically speaking Barry Bonds has improved his batting stats every year through out his twenty-season career. Barry Bonds has increased his homerun production per at bat steadily including his years before the steroid scandal and since. In addition to increasing his homerun average he has increased his on-base percentage, walks, and significantly decreased his number of strikeouts. His batting average is slightly higher during the alleged steroid years but it has been very consistent. Bonds became a very discerning batter. Bonds is able to judge pitches and wait for the correct pitch choice. Recently on ESPN’s Sports Center a baseball writer recounted the story of how he had chided Bonds for choking on a pitch in the 2002 World Series. Bonds response was that he swung poorly and then added if he saw that pitch again he would knock it out. Later in the series Bonds saw that pitch again by the same pitcher and he hit the ball over 500 feet in to the San Francisco Bay.

Questions arise when Bonds’ season totals began to rise above the averages of players over the history of baseball especially his record busting 73 homeruns in 2001. Fans argue that Bonds and MacGire’s smashing of Roger Maris’s record 61-homerun season could have only been done with the help of steroids. I believe that it still takes an awful lot of talent to hit a pitch out of the park than just big muscles. People had similar reactions to Hank Aaron surpassing Babe Ruth’s homerun total. Aaron was a black athlete surpassing the greatest hitter of all time in a racially charged era in American history. When Maris set his record single season mark passing Joe Dimaggio fans reacted with threats of violence. Fans would argue that the game is different now and that the ball is harder and flies further. The debate rages on.

Baseball is not as pure as its fans would like to believe. In the 1980’s and early 1990’s there was controversy over the very baseballs that were used. The balls went from standard fair to a harder core for increased distance when hit or thrown. The change was secretly to boost baseball’s sagging ratings and to curb losing fans to other sports like the NBA and NHL. Scoring began to rise, as did the power of the hitters. Stats started to inflate with the new balls. This too has been debated over the years. It all comes down to the purity of the game. Steroids are just another period in the evolution of baseball. For good or for bad its just another page in the history books.

The Major League Baseball steroid controversy has many facets to it. Another facet is what to do with the stats. If Barry Bonds breaks Hank Aarons all time homerun record and then is proven with out a doubt to have used steroids during a time when steroids weren’t banned in baseball what should be the affect upon the record books. There are some who think his stats should stand and say just let them be. It would be very difficult for Major League Baseball to sort through all the stats of all of those who may have or who were suspected of using steroids. There is no way to know for sure who was using and who wasn’t. Barry Bonds has stats in categories that were much higher before his alleged steroid years. There are others that think maybe a footnote in the annals of baseball history should be included. A note in Cooperstown would read these stats were during the “enhanced baseball period.” Others think that his stats from the disputed years be removed from Bonds’ historical stats altogether. Can you remove Bonds’ single season walks record just because of his alleged steroid use? Honestly can we say that steroids caused Bonds to walk more times? This would allow Bonds and others to keep their stats except for the ones earned during suspect enhancement periods. Some others want his records to be reset and honors given to those who didn’t cheat. These fans want justice and punishment to cheaters. Right is right and wrong is wrong in their eyes. Baseball didn’t ban steroids until recently when Congress got involved. If there was no rule was it really cheating?
No matter what Major League Baseball decides to do with the steroid controversy the arguments will remain. No solution is better than the other. Each side has its opinion for what is best for the sport. It will be interesting to see what happens with the steroid period of baseball.

Next year Mark MacGire, one of the biggest stars during the steroid period will be eligible for baseball’s hall of fame. MacGire’s stats are plenty to get him into the hall of fame but will the sports writes of America vote him in. It will be interesting to see what happens and in the next decade we will see if Barry Bonds becomes the all time homerun leader and then also joins the elite in Cooperstown.

Sports Reference Inc. (2000), Bobby Bonds Retrieved April 1, 2006 from

Sports Reference Inc. (2000), Barry Bonds Retrieved April 1, 2006 from

Sports Reference Inc. (2000), Babe Ruth Retrieved April 1, 2006 from

Fitzgerald, Tom. March 10, 2006 Should Bonds be in the Hall of Fame?
San Francisco Chronicle Retrieved March 31, 2006 from

Williams, Lance, Fainaru-Wada, Mark, December 3, 2004 What Bonds told BALCO grand jury San Francisco Chronicle Retrieved March 31, 2006 from

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Monday, April 17, 2006

My New Computer

So instead of buying a lift for my jeep I bought a new gaming system... and Really I am only into one game and that is Battlefield. The new computer also won out due to some work I need to get done.

Here is what I got for just under $1600.

ASUS A8N-E Socket 939 NVIDIA nForce4 Ultra ATX AMD Motherboard
Simple clean easy install and despite the bozos at PC Club it is very overclockable.

SAPPHIRE 100149 Radeon X1900XT 512MB GDDR3 PCI Express x16 Video Card (AWESOME CARD) Why not just go with the best?

ASUS Atlas A-55GA ATX12V 2.0 550W Power Supply
It turns out that expensive video cards need expensive power supplies.

AMD Athlon 64 4000+ San Diego 1GHz HT Socket 939 Processor Model ADA4000BNBOX
I didn't go the dual core route to save on cost. I wanted to still be overclockable if I wanted to do it.

Patriot 2GB (2 x 1GB) 184-Pin DDR SDRAM DDR 400 (PC 3200) Unbuffered System Memory Model PDC2G3200LLK

ViewSonic VA1912wb Black 19" 8ms Widescreen LCD Monitor (AWESOME SCREEN)
My old 17 inch CRT while still running and looking good. It was time to retire it to second bannana. It has served me well and infact I have had it 10 years.

BenQ 16X DVD±R DVD Burner With LightScribe Black ATA/ATAPI Model DW1655
Bang for the buck... It came with 100 free cdrs

Sony CD RW 40x 16x 12x
This is an antique I have had...for a while.

80 gb Seagate SATA Drive
I bought this drive for a client who didn't want the speed... so I traded him for an old 80 gb maxtor IDE.

150 gb Maxtor IDE
This gem is about the 5th maxtor drive I have had due to crashes and warranty replacements. Not bad for a drive that was originally a 20 gb that someone gave me.
POS Case

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Thursday, April 13, 2006

Retail Bozos

Recently I visited the PC Club in Murray, Utah… In the past I have had good experiences with their store in Orem. Last week I visited this particular PC CLUB to get some cost estimates and I had kind of a bad experience. The sales person was young probably a high school student and obviously not an experienced sales person. Yesterday I thought I would give them another try…as I understand that stuff happens. Unfortunately this visit was even worse than the first time. Here are a few Helpful Tips to being a Retail Salesperson all of these based on yesterday’s crappy experience.

1. When someone walks into your store… Don’t stay in a group chatting with your coworkers until I have to come over and ask, “Are you going to help me?” It’s ok to let a customer browse for a few minutes but when I am staring directly at you across the counter and you pretend not to see me, especially when I am the only customer in the store, is just too much.

2.Talking out of your BUTT isn’t a good practice. DON”T LIE TO THE CUSTOMER. Its ok to admit you might not know anything about this particular product. I hate catching sales people making stuff up instead of just admitting they might not know the answer. Reading the packaging or instructions is ok. No one knows everything.

3. Brush your damn teeth…or at least check them in a mirror for moss. I don’t want to see breakfast hanging in your teeth. (My visit was at 10:30 AM)

4. In a matter of minutes you ask me repeatedly what type of CPU I have. Damn it it’s an AMD Slot 939 (One of the most popular types on the planet out of about 4 slot types currently made). I need a CPU fan. Focus RainMan. Focus.

5. Asking the customer about the parts in his computer is good. It might add to the sale but going on for 10 minutes about how the customer bought the wrong motherboard and how he should have spent $200 more isn’t endearing to the customer. Implying the customer is stupid is a death sentence in the retail world. You didn’t bother to ask about my needs and why I chose this motherboard. You had no clue about the motherboard I bought other than its brand name. Oh and by the way you sell that brand name. And it didn’t matter when all I was asking for was a simple fan.

6. Make the buying process as simple as possible. DO NOT make the customer fill out a credit app before buying. I will not do that. Do not create a process that takes “45 minutes cause I have to have you fill out the credit app and we fax it to LA” to use a tax-exempt number when the customer has all the proper documentation. Maybe I will just take your ass out of the 911 database or maybe you will suddenly have a warrant. Making IT people livid with your stupidity is not a good choice.

7. After all of this don’t ask me why I decided not to buy anything. Isn’t it obvious? And under no uncertain terms should you follow that stupid question with statements like this, “dude we have the best prices in the valley.” Especially when your competitor next door CompUSA beat your price.

When this company goes out of business I won’t wonder what happened… It is simple I am willing to pay a little more for those who appreciate my business and give me better service.

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Thursday, April 06, 2006

Yeah I Need to Order an Adult Sized Binky

It is no secret that Tom “L Ron” Cruise has spent the last year doing the bizarre. In an effort to keep Katie’s yapper shut during the hatching of the mini-Cruise, Cruise has bought his partner Katie Holmes an adult sized binky. Story That’s right folks a large pacifier so that she will remain quiet during the birth of his spawn. I guess Cruise is willing to shell out the cashola to have “commissioned” such a birthing toy for Katie. That is true love I tell ya. But I have a bigger question, where the hell do you get an adult size “binky? Is it a Gucci, or Walmart brand? Pyscho! Hey Katie why don’t you stand up to this nut job? PS Katie I’m selling all my Dawson’s River crap!!!

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Monday, April 03, 2006

Letters to the Editor

Racing isn't worth a life

It was sad that the rookie Paul Dana died on the racetrack the other day. There's a wreck in almost every race. Most of these guys are ticked off at each other and drive like crazy to get even. I can't believe sane people would sit and watch guys going around in a circle 200 mph. This dumb "sport" isn't worth giving your life for.

Bill Simms

Dear Bill
You are a total nut job…
Racecar drivers aren’t forced into their vocation it was their choice. Drivers are well aware of the risks involved.
And as far as stupid sports… what about soccer where coaches, players and fans are killed every year in bizarre violence after games?

Making a Mockery

Unused options

I think the Detroit automakers should consider shipping some of their new cars to Utah without turn signals. This would let the car dealers sell them at a cheaper price and be more competitive with foreign auto makers. There is no use paying for equipment that is never used.

Doyle McBride
Salt Lake City

This letter just made me laugh.

Larry and Michael

Would those who disapprove of Larry H. Miller on the University of Utah campus also disapprove of Michael Moore on the Utah Valley State College campus?

Robert H. Woody
Salt Lake City

Dear Robert
Yes they would anyone who would ban a public speaker is a hypocrite. And there is a distinction between the two. Larry donated millions and isn’t paid to speak and Michael was paid a large sum of cash to speak taken directly out of student fees.

Making a Mockery

You gotta be kiddin!

Here's a four-word, scholarly reaction to your March 24 editorial about junking the block U on the hill: You gotta be kiddin!

Paul Cracroft
Executive Director,
U. of U. Alumni Association
Salt Lake City

Dear Paul
The Salt Lake Tribune has become such a joke that their main opinion piece last week was to suggest the removal of the U off the side of the mountain. I think we should put a L in Lindon for the Evironutcases to spell out UGLY.

Making a Mockery

East side, west side

Let's see. The west side gets a toll road, the east side might get $600,000 of Utah Department of Transportation money to build a jogging and bike trail, with the rest of the $1.1 million perhaps coming from the ZAP tax. What is wrong with this picture?

Dean Williams
West Valley City

Dear Dean
I thought the same exact thing… I guess when you are a highly valuable piece of real estate $600k for a bike trail through your neighborhood doesn’t seem outrageous. Maybe the trail will connect to the government paid for Real Salt Lake Stadium.

Making a Mockery

Cheap labor here and there

With all this attention about illegal immigrants taking jobs away from U.S. citizens, how come we don't hear more about big U.S. companies locating in other countries to take advantage of cheap labor abroad?

Laura Waldron

Dear Laura
This is just crazy talk. There are plenty of low wage no benefit jobs that stay in America.

Making a Mockery

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