“If I stay there might be trouble if I go there might be double.” This musical genius question was first posed by the Clash in the early 1980’s. And now it’s the eternal question of fans. Being a fan, makes this something that I struggle with myself.Lately, Gasp, I have been questioning my fan status as a Brigham Young Cougar fan.

Let me explain how it all began. We are all familiar with the frog and boiling water? A frog thrown into boiling water jumps out but a frog that is set in cold water and is slowly brought to a boil does not jump out. This is how my “fan-hood” started. Some how I was tricked into becoming a BYU fan in my youth. Maybe it was because I am LDS? Maybe it was years of watching the Holiday Bowl after all it was the only time BYU was broadcast in my native California? Maybe it was because I attended BYU camps as a young boy going to Basketball, Baseball and even EFY for several consecutive years (5)? Maybe it was because at age 18 a very close friend of mine, Mike Stoddard, who had also got me interested in BYU camps, called me up and asked, “Are you going to BYU for college?” “Um Sure” was my uneasy reply since the idea of college hadn’t really crossed my young mind. Maybe it was my very first trip to the then Cougar Stadium? It’s tough not to be persuaded when I was privileged as a student to sit in the very first row of the stands at the 40-yard. And I mean the very first row. Or maybe it was because at this first game I was dressed in blue and was broadcast on ESPN screaming like an idiot as ESPN rolled into commercial. Maybe it was watching Ty Detmer’s career blossom at Cougar Stadium as I went to BYU? I can’t tell you when it happened but it happened like a frog being boiled slowly and not being bright enough to jump out. I became a fan.

Like any fans the years passed with watching games on TV and when living locally in Utah season tickets. I was becoming an addict.

Like any addict, the method to a cure is to admit you are an addict. Hi!!! My name is Eran and I have a problem. I am a BYU Cougar fan. There I admitted it publicly. I guess I will treat this like the repentance process.

Why would I want to change the error in my ways? Well its been a slow process but just like becoming a fan I have fallen out of the addiction. It started one day when they raised student season ticket prices. I don’t remember when but it was around the 1999 or 2000 season. Yes I was committing a BYU sin by convincing a BYU student to buy two season tickets like there were allowed and reselling them to me with a nice “thank you for helping me out fee”. It was innocuous enough. I helped a BYU student learn the free market economy and I got season tickets at a price that was in my budget. I thought it a victimless crime. The next phase was the outrageous prices on food. BYU Football used to be bargain entertainment that everyone could afford but the times they were a changing and BYU was changing. I thought BYU was starting to get greedy. Maybe former BYU athletic director Val “I’m good bud’s with Gary Crowton” Hale was just trying to afford Gary Crowton’s contract? Who knows?

The next shot across the bow was when Val Hale decides to take the prime student section bench seating along the east stands and put shrink capacity by putting in seats and charges season ticket holders $1000 a seat for fancy new seats. It used to be the west stands were for the geezer fans and the rest of the stadium was for students. The old seating meant that student seats were cheap and plentiful and rarely were they able to be scalped except in the rare circumstances of a top 10 team visiting in a good Cougar year.

Enter 9-11 and the insanity that brought. No longer was outside food a drink allowed in. This is a treat if you are a diabetic. Also add in the fact that no longer could you have an unopened bottle of water purchased from the Gadianton’s at the snack bar. Instead you purchased your water and they removed the cap. We all know that Al Queada uses water bottles purchased at Cougar Stadium to terrorize the Saints. Side note: I strongly feel that they were just recycling the water but that is just my opinion I could be totally half baked.

In the mean time I have endured three losing seasons and then a “successful” season of 6-6 ball and a lame bowl game. Sure Gary the anti-christ was crucified and his buddy Val “there is no conflict of interest if my son gets a full ride scholarship even though he gets a substantial tuition reduction” Hale is also sacked. Happy Day All is Well.

So what finally pushed me from the BYU fold? It wasn’t losing seasons… Hell the Pittsburgh Pirates have been losing consistently since 1980 and I still am a hopeful fan despite the fact that I am more likely to be translated than to see them World Champions. Its not the fact that BYU football had harbored criminals like Florida and the mob. Its not the fact that they built a $50 million dollar statue of Baal to football or is it a practice facility that by the way isn’t open on “Pioneer Day” . No!!! what has pushed me over the edge is the lame new TV contract with MTN (aka Comcast).

The Mountain West Conference brilliantly (dripping with sarcasm) signed an $80,000,000 contract with them for the sole rights of broadcast.This doesn’t sound like Satan’s plan does it? It certainly does. Last year CSTV broadcast games and it was horrible. I saw better broadcasting on KBYU TV’s Student news shows. It was appalling. Fans ripped them a new one. I have read that CSTV aka the MTN aka Comcast still sucks. PLEASE READ: So far, mtn. not delivering from the Deseret News, as it is a fine depiction of the MTN. Side note Dave “I can’t afford a soccer stadium” Checkett’s is a major player in CSTV. In the preseason there were concerns that games would not be broadcast to the local markets. No more were games to be shown on KSL, KJZZ or even ESPN… NO the MTN is the sole provider of the games. The only way to get this network is to be a premium Comcast subscriber. That’s right kids no other TV provider will work. So far this seasons there have been exceptions but it was due to who the teams played who had other TV deals. Now that conference play has arrived Comcast and BYU has screwed the fan. It is currently impossible to watch any games. Mix in the right amount of stench by announcing this lame deal a week before the season. That’s right folks no time to change TV providers or to complain about a crappy deal.

Last week BYU’s new athletic director Tom Holmoe (that isn’t what we have been calling him in my house lately) on TV said that his hands were tied there was nothing he could do but he urged fans to call their TV providers and complain. Here is my free opinion… He is lying. Comcast is trying to create value by holding fans hostage. BYU is just going along. This is total crap.

My bottom line is this botched TV deal has made it so I have officially given up my BYU Fan status. I, Eran Bair officially and publicly renounce my Brigham University Cougars Fanhood. Happy Trails to You, You Pathetic Bastards!!! May the Devil Devour Your Bodies and Enjoy Your Souls.

PS this TV deal also affects University of Utah fans…as well as every team in the MWC.