Making a Mockery

Wednesday, October 12, 2005

Lawsuit seeks warning labels on milk
According to MSNBC, Ten Washington, D.C. area residents have filed a class-action lawsuit against milk suppliers and retailer, asking that labels be required on milk sold here warning consumers of the effects of lactose intolerance.

So what types of lawyers take on a case like this? Are they new lawyers who are trying to make a name for themselves? Are they just press junkies who just want to see their name on something truly ridiculous? Are they charging an outrageous amount for this lawsuit?

Here are some of my favorite parts.
"The 10 plaintiffs claim they have suffered cramps, diarrhea and other gastrointestinal problems from consuming milk." Maybe I can get in on this lawsuit because I once saw a person try to drink a gallon of milk with out puking.

"Among the plaintiffs recruited by the Physicians Committee are seven African-Americans, who tend to have higher rates of lactose intolerance." And "'Lactose intolerance is very prevalent in persons of color,' said Milton Mills, a black physician who is lead plaintiff in the suit." We all know that milk cows are racists and hate African Americans. I think Louis Farrakhan has been saying this for years. It's just a conspiracy for the white folk to keep the black man down with "lactose intolerance". Maybe I can sue suppliers and retailers of chili, Mexican food or chocolate as these products in mass cause me to have cramps, diarrhea and other gastrointestinal problems.

At least the defendant has the right idea. "Susan Ruland, vice president for communications at the International Dairy Foods Association, ridiculed the suit by saying "It's just another attempt on the part of an animal rights group to attack dairy and milk products."

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Tuesday, October 11, 2005

A cell phone that points to Mecca
'Ilkone' reminds Muslims of 5 daily prayer times MSNBC Link
My question is at what point does one's religious life become so cluttered and out of touch that you need this service? Do you think you will reach paradise by using technology to make you more devote?

Rocky's not thinking
Let me see if I understand Rocky's plan: If I am a city employee and Grandma moves in with me, she cannot use my health insurance. However, if I start having sex with Grandma, she gets to use my insurance. Brilliant, Rocky.
Kellen Wilson
Salt Lake City

This letter to the editor taken from the Deseret News Website made me laugh but unfortunately brings up a good point.

More on Rocky's Thoughtlessness: Salt Lake City Mayor Rocky Anderson signs partner-benefits order

Sounds for being obnoxious at work.
Pedro Sanchez Soundboard
Napoleon Dynamite Soundboard
Llama Song
Dr Evil Soundboard

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