Making a Mockery

Friday, January 27, 2006

Piece Of $@#& Car!!!

Adam Sandler wrote a song entitled Piece of $*&% Car... I believe it was inspired by FoMoCo and GM.

Is it just me or do American Automotive Executives not know what the hell they are doing? I get the feeling that they are a little bit removed from their consumer.

Some Examples: GM lost $36,000 a minute as auto operations falter. Link

Ford plant bans competitors' cars from lot Dearborn manager says employees can only park if they drive a Ford Link
We can return to profitability by forcing our employees into cars they don't want. Get real Ford. Hitler forced people into VW's also.

Ford announced Monday it would cut 25,000 to 30,000 jobs and idle 14 facilities by 2012 as part of a restructuring designed to reverse a $1.6 billion loss last year in its North American operations and bring it back to profitability by 2008.

Here is a start but slashing costs isn't always going to save your business. If you don't change your business as your clients and markets change you could be as extinct as the Dodo. Just look at the Dot Com Bubble, or Telecom companies.

"What you're finding in the automotive business is the products you design today affect your profitability three to four years down the road. What we are seeing today is some pretty good changes at General Motors, but nothing like that at Ford, and I think Ford is really going to be in dire straits in five to 10 years from now." Says Brett Hoselton, an automotive analyst with KeyBanc Capital Markets Link

This is a huge part of the problem. Time to market in the auto industry is long and needs to be cut. Customers dictate business in our global economy. Not doing your research, not being viable and agile enough will cost you big money and possible the business. The big three customers have evaporated overnight due to oil prices and poor planning. They have offered up lack luster cookie cutter designs from the 1980's.

Ford's North American market - the most profitable part of the world market - is where it is struggling the most. Ford posted a higher-than-expected 19 percent increase in earnings Monday for the fourth quarter of 2005, boosted by strength in its finance arm and the sale of its Hertz rental car unit. But the automaker's core automotive division lost $1.6 billion in North America where its market share fell even as it made money in the rest of the world.

America has loved its big vehicles. Recently that has changed a bit with the incredible crimes being committed by big oil bastards. Did you see Chevron had record Q4 earnings? America has changed its vehicle appetite some. Nothing at Ford or GM is really exciting. The new Ford Mustang is the only bright spot out of the two companies. Looking through the vehicles available at GM and I see only one that I really like the rest is just the same skinned crap they have been selling since 1990, my favorite being the Chevrolet SSR. Daimler Chrysler has at least had the nuts to introduce a few cool vehicles. The Jeep Rubicon, the Chrysler 300, Chrysler Crossfire, Dodge Charger, and Dodge Magnum. DC actually took some risks and I think it helps them to be in a better position. Honda, Nissan and Toyota are gaining share by producing more palatable products. The Japanese are producing more interesting designs. Don't get me wrong I have been a die-hard Chevy fan since birth but I haven't wanted a single vehicle other than the Corvette in 15 years. FORD and GM need to can the cookie cutter design teams. Maybe consult with Steve Jobs.who has made a profitable company out of design alone. Ford wow. I thought Ford might have learned a lesson with that ugly pos Tempo in the 1980's but yet it is still produced in the Ford Fusion.

same car

My 2 cents of free advice.

Make products customers want.

Offer variety of products.

Steep discounts and dealer incentives only hurt your brand by cheapening resale.

The next thing these companies need to do is axe the unions who are sucking the well dry. If you are to compete globally, labor costs need to come down. Sorry Boys welcome to the Age of China and Wal-Mart. Unions once had a place in America business but in the last 20 years they have become the problem and not the solution. It may sound callous and uncaring towards these workers but losing benefits is better than losing your job all together. Ford and GM could off shore their business and we could have Chinese workers building American cars at $4 an hour instead of $70 an hour. Geely and Chery are about to enter the market making it even tougher for GM and Ford to compete. So how about creating a vehicle that gets America excited about getting into the car.

And to the Government who keep adding ridiculous safety requirements. BUTT OUT. Its my God given right to drive a car with out air bags, anti lock brakes and doors that lock automatically when I shift into drive. Damn it don't force me into safety, give me the choice to be an idiot because I believe this is still constitutionally protected .

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Thursday, January 26, 2006

10 Ways to Be A Good Neighbor

1. Don't Park In My Driveway
2. Don't Attach Ads or Announcements to my Door
3. Don't Smoke Near My House
4. Don't Park in My Driveway
5. Don't Put Your Trashcan In My Driveway on Trash Day
6. Don't Park In My Driveway
7. Don't Liter Near My House
8. Don't Park In My Driveway
9. Don't Park On My Lawn
10. And Damn It Don't Park In My Driveway

It seems easy enough to be a damn good neighbor...

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Wednesday, January 25, 2006

Questar Starts the Repentance Process

HOlY COW!!!! The evil one has started to repent. Can Questar be saved?

Questar Gas has asked the Utah Public Service Commission to approve a $28.3 million rate decrease, which would decrease the typical customer's monthly bill by about 2.5 percent. Read MORE

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Paranoid About the Feds and Google.

I am not after all this is still the same government that can't keep sex in the white house quiet or even domestic spying a secret...

Jon Swift wrote a nice blog post about ways to defend your "Google searches" when the Feds come a rap rap rapping tap tap tapping upon your door. Never More Never More!

Patriot Search: Help the government by making your search activity public.

More Paranoia

Recently I was informed that I was in violation of H.B. 260 AMENDMENTS RELATED TO PORNOGRAPHIC AND HARMFUL MATERIALS from the 2005 GENERAL SESSION in the STATE OF UTAH. (available here in pdf) I didn't realize I was to place a rating on my Utah Based website and that I needed to register it with the great state of Utah. Good thing my site is hosted in Canada.(Don't ask why Canada) and not the United States of the Beehive. I can't believe one little post about Muslim Marriage Sex Acts and I get ratted on. Be under advisement that the only dirty photos on my site are of my jeep.

After receiving an email about my violation from some John "I already called your Bishop" Doe, I had find out more about my possible criminal activities, and I of course Googled and found H.B. 260.This marvelous work and a wonder was sponsored/created by John Dougall (R-American Fark) of Utah House of Representatives. I of course need to know more about someone who would create such a piece of . of. of. of. legislation. Dougall is a well-educated man who thinks that silly laws like this will protect Utahan's from pornography. Unfortunately John Dougall has no clue how the Internet works and has created a waste of $250,000. This is feel good legislation. It does no good for a couple of reasons.

A.) No one hosts porn in Utah (Not based on any fact other than my personal Web Hosting Experience relate it to trying to sell beer on Temple Square)
B.) Forcing ISP's to block content to subscribers based on the Registry (99% of all ISP's have blocking software to remain competitive in the market.)
C.) This law leaves too much up in the air and contains no teeth to those who break this law.
D.) We as Mormons/LDS Folk don't have the right to step on other people's free agency (unless of course we are BYU). The stories of intolerance my coworkers tell me about living in Utah as a non-member causes my blood to boil and kills my ability to be a light unto the world (code word for Missionary Work). THIS IS MY CURRENT #1 PETPEEVE OF UTAH MORMONS. Something about hate the sin love the sinner pops into my mind here or is it glass houses and throwing rocks or was it the mote in the eye parable... Wait this is a rant for another day.
E.)Or is this just another method to catch BYU Perverts...
Why didn't these yahoos (no offense to Yahoo) create a law that actually protects people and which also has some teeth? Why not make this law a law that says any site that is accessible from Utah has to register. Or I have long supported a top-level domain for sites of questionable material. (IE: .xxx .bad or something). I am also an avid supporter of watch your own damn kids. The government and I shouldn't have to protect your offspring. If you were dumb enough to procreate, it ain't my problem. So let me get this straight. I need a license to drive a car, fly a plane, own a business, but I need nothing but a willing partner to create a child?

Too Much Time on Their Hands:
The Incredible Rubber band Machine Gun! The incredible rubber band machine gun is probably no match for Machete Wielding Gang Bangers.

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Tuesday, January 24, 2006

How Evil is Questar Gas?

I think that Questar may have over taken Exxon/Mobile as the most evil company in the world. Why might you ask? It's their latest PR ploy. So there I am feeding my new offspring. at 0 Crap Thirty when low and behold on the magic box is Satan himself, um no not Ted Kennedy but Keith O. Rattie, the President of Questar Gas. Rattie, a rather unfortunate name but probably fitting, was on my TV pitching the joys of riding UTA (Utah's mass transit bus system) and the importance of saving oil. He was blathering on about riding the bus slows the rise in gas prices by reducing demand. Ok! Ok! yes I get it. However in my stupor of nights with out sleep, an Epiphany: this jack ass is telling me to stop driving my car and ride the public transportation system. Riding public transportation sounds good and probably does reduce oil consumption, pollution and road rage except there is only a little tiny problem with this pitch from Questar's President, UTA buses run on Natural Gas. So I should save oil and waste taxpayer's money on paying premium prices for natural gas to line the pockets of Questar?

Click Here for proof that Questar is ripping us off...

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Monday, January 23, 2006

Random Links and Thoughts

I know you all know I follow the knitting world religiously. That is why I am forced to post about the Knitting Olympics. Of course it's a Canadian website and their domain is Yarn Harlot. Not too be confused with thread whore. Oh the biblical knitting sites we could create.

Tired of paying to advertise your business on Google? Why not paint your logo on your roof and use Google Maps as a method to have customers beat a path to your door? Example "Google is experimenting with plotting local advertisers' locations on its Maps product, giving marketers a visual and spatial accompaniment to their locally targeted ads." According to Impact Lab

I can hear it now..
Painter: Jello Tank jew for calling Jesus Menendez Rodriguez Painting
Corporate Exec: Yeah Hi I need my company's logo and web address painted on my roof.
Painter: jew will need to wait until Juan gets back. cause he is the only one who's computer literate.

Now Microsoft is getting into the "Google World" with Windows Live Local. It looks promising until you see black and white satelite photos in the more rural locations.

The Top Ten Reasons No One Reads Your Blog. Son of a . I need to be or get a hot young naked female.

How Many Democrats Could Be Confirmed to the Supreme Court? It doesn't look good for liberals either. and then Senator Hatch asks: Um Ted can you explain the 12 hours and why your lawyer was with you at Chappaquiddick? More on Ted and Orin in today's SL TRIB "Kennedy, Hatch: Strange bedfellows
Talk of the Morning: The duo is referred to as the Senate's Odd Couple"

Kinky's Run For Governor Of Texas.
Kinky Friedman for Texas Governor 2006I saw this on 60 minutes last night and Kinky made me laugh. I wish more politicians and government leaders would be this honest. I think he deserves a link for quotes like these. All Kinky's quotes taken from his 60 Minutes Interview

His platform:"It's Kinky Friedman versus apathy,"

His Music
His band's name, "Kinky Friedman and the Texas Jewboys," was designed to offend and includes among his greatest hits "They Ain't Making Jews Like Jesus Anymore."

On Drugs
"I think you have to find what you like and let it kill ya, you know? You struggle with your demons and you conquer them,' he says. 'I mean, I haven't done drugs in what? Twenty-five years or more."

On Dogs
"And you know what I say, 'Money may buy you a fine dog, but only love can make 'em wag his tail,' " Friedman says. He runs an animal rescue project.

Successful Author Of
Latest book: "Texas Hold 'Em : How I Was Born in a Manger, Died in the Saddle, and Came Back as a Horny Toad." This sounds like a must read in my book.

On Politics and being a Long Shot
"The Democrats and Republicans are the same guy admiring themself in the mirror," says Friedman. "And if an alternative is on that ballot in Texas, I guarantee you, Texans are gonna take it. The politicians don't know this yet, but the people do."

On the Ten Commandments
"The Ten Commandments. The Ten Commandments being taken out of the public schools. I want them back," says Friedman. Why? "I want them back, they belong there," says Friedman. "Maybe I'll have to change their name to the Ten Suggestions, you know. But they were taken out, not by separation of church and state, but by political correctness gone awry. One atheist stands up and says, 'I don't like the Ten Commandments,' and suddenly out they go. And, of course, we all know what happens to an atheist when he dies. His tombstone usually reads, 'All dressed up and no place to go.' "

On Gay Marriage"I also support gay marriage. I say they have every right to be just as miserable as the rest of us."

Kinky's Website....

Nudity and Sex in the Muslim World.After Marriage of Course
As scholars question the place of nudity in marriage, Islamic clerics are hotly debating exactly what sexual practices are acceptable, writes Brian Whitaker
If Muslim scholars are debating this America might be in a lot more jeopardy than we ever imagined. (no nudity just sexual talk) The article even makes the BYU seem like sexual perverts. we all know their old mantra of procreation not recreation after marriage.

Muslims On Kissing
"Males and females should not kiss unless they are related by blood or marriage. Same-sex kissing, on the other hand, is allowed as long as it is done without "lust" and avoids the person's mouth. Hands and cheeks are the preferred places to kiss. The forehead is also good because the Prophet reportedly once gave a man a smacker between the eyes." Squaw Peak and the shadows of the Marriot Center would get a break from BYU NCMO's with this kind of kissing decree.

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