Making a Mockery

Friday, December 30, 2005

Oh Give It To Me Sheldon!

In the 1989 movie When Harry Met Sally, Billy Crystal argues that you can't have great intimacy with a guy named Sheldon. In fact you can't have great politics either. Senator Sheldon Killpack, R-Syracuse is at it again. A bill is being drafted that would allow for toll roads to be built by private companies on state-owned land. The bill sponsored by Sen. Sheldon Killpack, R-Syracuse, would allow a private partner to finance and construct the road and then operate it as a concession. I think this is a dumb idea. Anytime government supports private enterprise IE: Real Salt Lake's new stadium, or the Delta Center being funded by government, I think we are wasting money. Do we really think that Sandy and Salt Lake County is going to be enhanced by building a $30 million dollar stadium for a soccer team that sucked so bad that it made BYU's 6-6 football season seem successful?

The real problem with toll roads is that Utahan's and a buck aren't easily parted. Just ask any service industry employee (those who work on tips). Utah roads are not crowded enough for people to start paying a toll to avoid traffic. I didn't pay the toll when I lived in hell-a-crowded Orange County, CA so why would I do it in "I drive like $h!t Utah? Don't get me wrong there is a traffic problem in Utah. Poor design, poor execution and poor planning have made road rage in Utah as common as green jello or funeral potatoes at LDS church events. The road that Killpack would like built is a western extension of the Legacy Highway. It is a road that I support and should be built to relieve traffic and to support the growth of the west side especially in the Saratoga Springs/Eagle Mountain areas. These are areas that are growing at an extremely fast pace. East/West corridors are horrible in Utah County and Salt Lake County. Just drive the Bang-wanker (Bangater Highway a few times and you can see the frustration of northwest/southeast travel. (Sidenote: we can route internet traffic at the speed of light to a billion people world wide but we cannot time the damn lights on The Bangater Highway?) The other fear I have is our good buddy Sheldon was one of the idiots who gave into the Sierra Club lawsuits for the northern Legacy Highway. This "compromise" has set an ugly precedent. We now will get to deal with these "eco" terrorists every time we want to lay down a piece of asphalt. What organization is going to tell us what we can do next? Isn't it bad enough I have a homeowners association that tells me what kind of damn Christmas lights I can hang up and when they can be installed and removed?

Sheldon is the same bozo who recently hiked our vehicle fees to buy land for transportation (I bet this will buy land for these privately held toll roads), who remained silent during the recent raping of customers by Questar Gas. (I have forgotten to thank these dinks for the 500 percent [$29 to $156] increase from my October to November gas bill.) and who has been actively pursuing GPS/GIS data to tax us by the mile because gas taxes aren't bringing in enough revenue because of more fuel efficient cars.

Maybe I should run for a cushy government legislator job? Too bad I have opinions and peccadilloes that prevent me from running. Besides I would be too tempted to sell out to all those lobbyists and end up looking like Orin Hollywood Hatch.

Purchase When Harry Met Sally at

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Wednesday, December 28, 2005

You Don't Bring Me Flowers....

Website of the Day:
Save My Ass is a personal assistant that helps you make your girlfriend or wife happy by sending her flowers on your behalf, on a regular but semi-random basis.

So what makes this site so ingenious?
#1 Girls seem to enjoy flowers more than anything on the planet. Flowers have that magical ability to change your significant others mood like nothing else. The site provides a simple method of getting the zero back into hero mode again.

#2 The business model is creative. Imagine creating a business that adapts well with the web. Millions of people already order flowers online. People are comfortable with the business model. This business automatically asks for a repeat sale every to every customer every 4-6 weeks for 12 months. That is 10-12 sales requests per customer per year. Repeat business is the most profitable. It takes less effort to convince a previous customer to buy again. I am sure this site is 100% automated thus reducing costs and its available 24/7/365 with little overhead.

This is a great business example of finding a niche, a man's need to repent to his woman. It takes a process men already hate to do, buying flowers and creates a fast and easy way to solve the problem through e-commerce. It generates its own method of sustaining business with low cost measures to bring back repeat customers by offering a service to reorder flowers every so often. Genius! It is simply genius.

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