Making a Mockery

Tuesday, March 20, 2007

You Write the Letters that Make Me Laugh

I have thought about creating a website that did nothing but answer and comment on all the silly letters to the editors that are sent to Utah's news papers. These letters are uncut diamonds of mockery just waiting to be made fun of their content. Today's example comes from the Deseret News also known as "the orthodox Mormon paper."

Underwear ads offensive
I have decided to cancel my subscription. Not because of poor reporting, editing or other obvious news errors. I am fed up with the constant stream of bra and underwear ads placed front and center in my reading material. Today there was nearly a half-page ad in the A section of a woman wearing only a bra. It was yet another "in your face." I hope you reconsider your policy regarding underwear ads. There are already plenty of these ads in the inserts. Please save the space in the newspaper for the type of ads that everyone feels comfortable looking at.Melissa McKayWest Jordan

Dear Melissa

With all the problems in the Deseret News, Utah and world, your most pressing issue is your offense to female underwear ads? I guess you are too young to small to wear such articles of clothing?

I am offended that the Deseret News would print such a letter. Isn't there any real letters?

Making a Mockery

I thought the Daily Herald printed a great letter today.

Book of Al Gore, another witness of global warming

And Al Gore looked down upon his people and said, "It is not good that there is great consternation in the land, especially among those souls in the eastern parts."

The people were in fear due to the oppressive mildness of the temperature. They began to cry to the heavens for relief; the temperature had risen 0.7 degrees over the past five generations.

Because of the people's great faith in him, Al Gore established a new church: the Church of the Global Footsteps. And the people believed, heaping their praise upon him, as well as monetary contributions.

Soon, all of the eastern parts were converted, save a handful of evildoers (83 percent of all climatologists).

The oppressive mildness was removed in very few weeks and bitter cold was ushered in.

Life-altering conferences on warming problems could not be held. And the people were sore amazed, and full of joy (except for the evil climatologists, who were stranded at airports, forced to shovel snow).

And Al Gore looked down again and said:

"This is good. Within my generation, I've invented the Internet, been elected president and solved global warming. Praised be my name."

Glenn Musick,

Dear Glenn

It's nice to see a satirical letter to the editor mocking Al Gore and his recently discovered gravy train scam. Al Gore is Chicken Little screaming about the sky falling and all for fun and profit. No one seems to notice that he is doing it for two reasons fame and fortune and not the altruistic sense of saving the world. Can't anyone see through this smoke screen? Gore is raking in profits and is gaining political clout and I expect to see Al Gore run for a national public office in the near future.

Making a Mockery

Here are a few interesting points about it.
The Global Warming Business
The Great Global Warming Swindle

Here is my comment on The Global Warming Business Post
There are many companies who like to exploit the green movement. I once worked for a local environmentalist, Robert Redford. At Sundance, protection of the environment was the most important thing and it was so important that we paid twice as much for electricity. Utah Power has/had a wind program where you paid a premium price for "wind power". Link The price of wind power was almost 100% more than regular power and there was no real proof that it was wind power since you cannot separate out the power grid. UPL said that they were buying the same amount of energy used from a "clean" source. My take on it was that UPL saw Redford as a fool and soon parted him of his money. Really can you prove that the power you bought is wind power? UPL buys power from a variety of sources and why would they pay more just to get wind power? UPL wouldn't as it would lower their profit margins of a publicly traded company who has since been purchased by Warren Buffett's energy conglomerate (Buffett to purchase U.S. utility). We all know that Buffett isn't about to lose money. From Buffett to purchase U.S. utility, "The energy field is one that I basically like," Buffett said by telephone. "It's not a business you can dream about; however, it's a capital-intensive business that provides decent returns. It's stable and it's predictable."

Robert Redford is just as hypocritical with the environment at times putting his business ahead of the environment. I do believe that he does more good than harm. I was privileged enough while working at Sundance to be in the conference room of a Global Warming Summit with world leaders including Al Gore and his "Inconvenient Truth" presentation. Gore hadn't released the movie yet but he gave a presentation that was an outline and basis for the movie. He showed clips of the movie. After seeing his presentation I thought to myself the same things that you are writing about here. What was Gore's real agenda? In the past Al Gore and environmentalist didn't really seem to go together. It seemed odd to me and to others I mentioned it to at the time. To me it seemed like it was agenda driven and I thought he is thinking about a comeback and is going to use the environment to defeat the Republicans in 2008. Fast forward a few years to now and that is what a lot of others now think also. Again not being altruistic but using the environment as a platform to gain power. See Goremovement 2008

I think there is a lot of hype and not enough hard facts and data. Mostly it is just media madness. (Anne Nicole media frenzy) Today's media loves gloom and doom and the environmental movement is full of gloom and doom. What's more gloomy than the end of the world and thus we have the media frenzy stirring it up. In reality the earth has survived many ice ages and thaw cycles. I am sure it will survive another.

Here is another favorite letter from the week.

BYU fans showed lack of class by booing Ute players

I love the students at BYU. I'm also proud of their conduct and achievements. Generally, they're fine representatives of the LDS faith and the standards that its church and BYU uphold.

But on occasion, I want to hang my head in shame for them.

Take the BYU-University of Utah basketball game on March 3, for instance. The gentleman who offered the opening prayer asked that we might remember to be good sports. No sooner had the "amens" been said than the students began booing as the opposing team members were introduced.

Is that good sportsmanship? Aren't we better than that? That team and their visiting fans were our guests.

Was our students' behavior an example of the way Latter-day Saints typically treat guests? I don't think so.

I was embarrassed for both teams.

Personally, I think anybody found booing our guests should be invited to leave the forum because they don't represent what BYU is all about.

Geri Brinley,

Dear Geri

It's amazing how fast kids grow up these days. I can't believe that the generation without dodge ball is now in college. My advice to you is suck it up and get tough. Booing has been a right of the paying fan since the inception of sports. Get over it already. Toughen up get some thicker skin. You are probably also is that kid who is frightened by speech and is offended by the use of the W-word when you are really Scandinavian American or the use of M-word to describe a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.

It wasn't that long ago that BYU fans didn't cheer or boo and it has nothing to do with being a follower of Christ. Paying outrageous prices for BYU sports buys you the right to scream and yell all you want.

Making a Mockery

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