Making a Mockery

Friday, November 18, 2005

Do you ever think to your self, damn I could have come up with that?

I do all the time.

For example I recently stumbled across a genius website. A fresh high school graduate or the equivalent thereof in England decides he needs to earn a little money for college. Instead of just going out and getting a summer job, this business genius decides to create a million pixel website and sell each pixel at a $1 a pop. One pixel is difficult to see so he sells them in 10 x 10 pixel squares for $100 a pop. What a web gimmick? The pixels may link to a website. It is the ultimate useless web advertising one of a kind. I visited the site yesterday and he had sold approximately 609,000 pixels by this morning he is over 617,000 pixels and counting. The young lad started this project end of August and by mid-November he has earned over $600,000. Not a bad profit. Look at the press his site is generating.

On the other hand there are sites that just scare the hell out of me like: I am in no way responsible for your vomiting by visiting this site. This site scares me for a couple of reasons. One few people look good in bikinis and second who dresses up like Princess Leia and then posts their photo on the Internet. My favorite part of this site is the Make a Bikini Section.

How High Can You Go?
I read today that shares of Google passed the $400 a share mark. I just checked it and its at $404. Holy $#@%!!!! When Google stock was in the $175 range I had some cash and thought about purchasing some Google. Google produces a very good search product and their Adsense and Adword programs seemed very attractive and would undoubtedly be successful, I just wondered what kind of sustainability they would have because of Yahoo, AOL, and MSN. The other Internet giants would surely copycat the Google business model. Fast forward a couple of years and Google is sitting at $300 a share and again I was like wow I blew it on this one but no worries Google will tank soon enough. Google releases Google Maps. rinse lather repeat Enter Google Earth. repeat. now Google Analytical. Ok so how high can Google go? Who knows?

Google has been taking their core business Search and adding products and services to it constantly. Google added revenue producers through advertising. Google adds feature rich technology like Gmail, Google Maps, Google Earth and now Google Analytics. Each one of these gains market share, like Gmail gives users 2gb of email space back when Hotmail is giving a measly 10mb. I think Google used Gmail to gain market share but to also gain buzz about what is currently hot. Google let customers know that they were indexing their emails but doing it so that no personal data was being indexed. What Google was doing was monitoring what was being talked about. Google had a new source for spidering the Internet for better search results. Google was now aware of trends sooner than the competition. Google maps did similar thing. What were people searching for on maps? Google took the basic Internet map and made it more useful with GeoCoding Data. Geocoding is adding map data, GPS data and database data together to form a nice useful interactive map. Users can take the Google Map API and use their own database to overlay data in an interactive manner. Example: Chicago Arson data This functionality blows all other internet maps away. Now add in Google Earth that does the whole process worldwide and in 3D. Notice how ads have been integrated. Google Analytics now adds website metrics into the equation. People using this program now get free and quite impressive website stats. Google uses this information in their search engine algorithm and in turn creates better search. I personally am very excited to see what Google produces next. I believe the stock will rise even more.

Thursday, November 17, 2005

In Honor of Rivalry Week

How do you get a BYU coed into your car?
Show her a diamond ring.
How do you get her out again?
Tell her that you're a non-member.

What do you call an intelligent coed in Cougar Stadium?
A visitor.

What's the difference between a BYU coed and a rooster?
Roosters say "cock-a-doodle-doo" but BYU coeds say, "any dude'll do."

Why didn't the BYU coed use her water skis?
She couldn't find a lake on a hill.

Why do BYU coeds wear stripes?
So you can tell if they're standing up or lying down.

Why do BYU coeds have such a terrible time in the morning?
They're so fat they rock themselves to sleep trying to get up.

What is the difference between a BYU coed and a toilet?
The toilet doesn't follow you around after you use it.

What do a BYU co-ed and a quarter in the toilet have in common?
Everyone Sees them, but no one wants to take them out.

What do you call a BYU Coed Hand gliding?
Solar eclipse.

What do you call a 300-pound BYU coed?

How do you get a BYU coed into an VW Bug?
Grease her thighs and put a Twinkie on the dashboard.

What's the difference between a police car and a BYU coed?
It takes two police cars to block the road.

What do a moped and a BYU coed have in common?
They're both okay while the ride lasts, but you don't want anyone to see you on them.

Did you hear about the driver who had to swerve to miss the BYU coed walking in the road?
He ran out of gas.

Did you hear about the new BYU Coed Doll?
You put a ring on her finger and she inflates.

What is the difference between a BYU Coed and Sasquatch?
One of them weights 300 lbs has matted hair and stinks and the other has big feet.

What is the difference between a BYU Coed and garbage?
The garbage gets taken out at least once a week.

What's the difference between a BYU Coed and an elephant?
About 10 pounds.

What's the difference between a BYU Coed and a whale?
Whales can swim.

Why is BYU considering fitting Cougar stadium with artificial turf instead of grass?
So the cheerleaders will stop grazing...

How does a BYU Coed take a bath?
Fills the tub, then puts in some water.

How do you get a BYU Coed into a phone booth?
Grease her hips and throw in a wedding ring.

Did you hear about the truckload of pigs that got loose on the BYU campus?
They had to check I.D.s to reload the truck.

What is the thinnest part of a BYU coed?
The hair on her palms.

What's 36-24-32?
A BYU coed's leg.

How many BYU coeds does it take to play hide-n-seek?
It takes at least three BYU coeds to play hid-n-seek. One goes to hide and the other two try to figure out who left.

How do you tell a if a BYU Coed is smart?
Her lips don't move when she reads to herself.

Did you hear about the lucky BYU Coed who had a date every Friday night last semester?
She kept them in her refrigerator so they'd stay fresh all semester long.

Why did BYU Police raid a candle passing in the girl's dorm?
They thought they were breaking up a dope ring.

A BYU Coed asked a store clerk, "Can I put this wallpaper on myself?"
"Yes, but it will look better on the wall," he said.

What has an I.Q. of 144?
Twelve BYU Coeds.

What's the difference between a BYU coed and a palm tree?
A palm tree has dates.

What's worse than being a BYU coed?
Being behind one in a cafeteria line.

What is the difference between a BYU Coed heading to the cafeteria and a speeding bullet?
Superman can stop a speeding bullet.

A BYU coed and a U of U coed are on top of the Marriot Center. Which one comes down first?
The Marriot Center

How do you get a U. of U. grad off your front porch?
Pay him for the pizza.

What do you get when you crossbreed BYU football and a groundhog?
Six more weeks of bad football!

How do you tell the difference between a BYU coed and a U. of U. coed?
The BYU coed is looking for a husband. The U. coed is looking for the father.

What is a BYU coed's favorite after-game wine?
When are we going to get married?

What is the difference between the BYU football team and a bowl of Cheerios?
The Cheerios belong in a bowl!

How is a Ute like a possum?
Both play dead at home and usually die on the road.

Wednesday, November 16, 2005

Bad Deal...

State officials and environmental groups agreed Wednesday to allow Legacy Parkway to proceed after four years of litigation. I would just like to say thank you Sierra Club and thank you Southern Utah Wilderness Alliance for helping Utah pay $150 million in legal fees and not too mention delays in work helping to drive up the price. Legacy Parkway was $451 million in 2001, but court-ordered delays and additional environmental studies have pushed the total to $689 million.

In an agreement both the Utah Department of Transportation and the Sierra Club called a "win-win" compromise, both sides made concessions to allow the 14-mile road to be constructed along the Great Salt Lake from Farmington to Salt Lake City. Not a win-win. This agreement just jeopardized every possible road building or expansion project in Utah.

The legal agreement, which was signed by Gov. Huntsman, states the road will be a parkway rather than a freeway. This means it will be smaller, the lanes will be narrower and it will allow a speed limit of 55 mph rather than 65 mph as originally planned. Why not put in some traffic lights? Why not make it a toll road with money going directly to the new communist party a.k.a. Sierra Club/SUWA. All in all this is a bad precedent giving into eco terrorists.

According to the agreement, Legacy Parkway will be restricted to four lanes until at least 2020. Semi-tractor trailers will be prohibited from driving on the parkway except during emergencies and I-15 construction. The road will be made with noise reducing pavement and no billboards will be posted. In addition, UDOT agreed to provide $2.5 million for environmental studies on other transit methods, such as light rail options. The Legacy Nature Preserve that surrounds the parkway will also receive an additional 125 acres for preservation of the wetland.

As American's we long ago made the choice to not negotiate with terrorists but yet in Utah we did.

These same groups want to remove all motorized vehicles from all national parks, national forests. These groups want drain Lake Powell in spite of the fact that it provides electricity and water to most of Southern California. It doesn't get much cleaner than hydroelectricity folks. These people don't want anyone to use the wilderness. The motto is no one should use the environment except naked hikers. I strongly disagree. I think that people should be able to hike, bike, swim, canoe and even drive responsibly in our wilderness. There are thousands of trails that don't need to be protected to the extent of these extreme groups believe. If you don't believe me check out their websites and the lies and half-truths they promote on their websites. The SUWA is full of scare tactics and anti recreation. I support groups like USA-ALL, Utah 4 wheel Drive Association, The Blue Ribbon Coalition and groups that support multiple use public lands.

The new faces of the Utah Terrorists. Lynn de Freitas, Marc Heileson and Roger Borgenicht of Utah Sierra Club.

Tuesday, November 15, 2005

I Ain't No Fortunate Son
"Some folks are born silver spoon in hand,
Lord, don't they help themselves, oh.
But when the taxman comes to the door,
Lord, the house looks like a rummage sale
It ain't me, it ain't me,
I ain't no millionaire's son, no."

Fortunate Son by Rock and Roll Hall of Famer John Fogerty

Fogerty was protesting the Vietnam War in this classic song written with his group Creedence Clear Water Revival. Fogerty was angry about being drafted. He was angry that the rich and the privileged escaped service in a war that the wealthy had supported. His lyrics ring just as true today as they did in 1969. Only now these words represent current injustices like Big Oil Executives testifying to Congress on their record profits.

Recently pressure has been put upon politicians because of record profits put into the bank accounts of Oil Companies. Due to the pressure from the public congress called meetings to discuss these windfalls.

Lee Raymond, chairman of ExxonMobil Corp., the world's largest publicly traded oil company, acknowledged the high gasoline and home heating prices "have put a strain on Americans' household budgets," but he defended his company's profits by saying Petroleum earnings "go up and down" from year to year and are in line with other industries when compared with the industry's enormous revenues. First off why didn't the senators require these executives to go under oath? The republicans seem to be the ones bucking against this but then a simple check into who the biggest donors to these republicans campaigns found big oil as the big spenders it was no surprise. . Second, I would just like to know what other industry is this joker talking about. Is Raymond comparing his business to Wal-Mart to Microsoft? What other business was so opportunistic with a monopoly that has such a huge impact upon our nations economy? This little stunt could easily put the brakes on our economy causing a massive recession all because oil companies could line their pockets with cash. The bottom-line is these business leaders just fleeced America. America's reliance upon cheap oil is also our Achilles heal. When there is a sharp rise in gas the average American is not able to stop purchasing gas.

The US Congress is thinking of imposing a windfall tax as a punishment to such reckless price gauging. The oil companies don't believe this is fair and Raymond basically threatened Congress by saying "It would be a mistake to impose punitive damages and would probably result in less investment in refineries and oil exploration" when pressed on the issue. Oil companies are now saying without record profits that they will not invest more in oil exploration and refinery capacity. I see this as a threat. These companies are playing hardball to avoid a tax on ill-gotten gains. These same clowns expect that Congress to help them circumvent environmental law that restricts the expansion of refining and oil exploration. While I am no eco-nazi by any stretch, why should congress play ball with these guys who are just exploiting John Q. Public. Maybe we should restrict their future profits by imposing price controls on gasoline based upon the cost of a barrel of oil.

But then again. It ain't me, It ain't me I ain't no Senators Son, No!!!

Monday, November 14, 2005

Hooked on Phonics Might Just Help Jesse
In a press release on Friday, My favorite Civil Rights Innovator Jesse Jackson proclaims Owens' suspension without pay for four games and deactivation for the rest of the season is "much too severe for the charge" and hurts the athlete's NFL career at its height. "This does not warrant a one-year ban from the game," cries Jesse Jackson. hey Jesse maybe you should read or watch some tv and find out the truth.

The truth is that Owens was only suspended 4 games or of the season and deactivated for the season. If the Eagles think they need to deactivate Owens its their right, besides its not like he is the first employee to be "fired" with pay for saying or doing something stupid. The Eagles will be required to pay out his contract even though Owens is inactive. Must be nice to have a union involved to keep players paid even after being fired.



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